When I Grow Up

Oftentimes during a kid’s life they are asked “What do you want to be when you grow up?” (I know I was.) And although I’m sure Augie will get those questions eventually (probably not until he is old enough to talk), I’ve decided to ask myself “What could Augie be when he grows up?” From what I’ve seen so far, he’s qualified to be a paper weight, a personal heater and a poop machine. But I’m going to look past what he is now and venture into his future.

In the past few weeks, Augie has started to realize he is the one in control of those four sticks protruding from his torso. And since he has come to that realization, he has become better able to control them. He knows how to chew on his fist; and he knows how to pick up his legs and slam them down on the bed. So because of his incredible hand-eye coordination, I think it would please his grandfathers to know I believe Augie could become a professional race car driver.

Augie “speed racer” Steinke

Keeping it in the realm of sports, Augie had his first encounter with basketball this weekend at mom and dad’s basketball tournament in Pardeeville, and he didn’t hate it. That’s probably a good thing because if he continues to grow at his current pace he’s going to be about 10 feet tall. And like they say, you can’t teach tall.

Augie “don’t call me stretch” Steinke

If Augie stops growing, and the sports gigs don’t work out, there is a good chance he could become a professional singer. Mom and dad like to sing, so who am I to think Augie won’t, too. Plus he’s already got a hat.

Augie “the second coming of blue eyes” Steinke

If Augie doesn’t want to sing, but still wants to live in L.A., he could become a male model. Although this isn’t the profession I would like to see him get into, people tell me all the time he’s a cutie. So who am I to stop him from using his God-given good looks? We’ll just have to tell him most photographers prefer a model’s eyes be open.

Augie “I’m too sexy for sleeves” Steinke

When all else fails, and he decides all of those options suck, he can always turn to his brain. He’s got a smart mommy and a brilliant daddy, why not put that brain to work. Augie could take his pen and his paper and write the next great American novel. Or if all else fails, become a teacher or reporter.

Augie “my pen is mightier than my sword” Steinke

I’m sure when Augie grows up (and learns to speak for himself), he’ll tell me all about his plans to become a firefighter or an astronaut or a cowboy, and that’ll be just fine, because at the end of the day he has to live with the career he chooses. With my luck Augie will remember all the crazy things I’ve said and done during his lifetime (like putting diapers on his head…Augie’s head, not dad’s head) and choose to become a psychiatrist. He’s already got the “This guy is crazy” look down.

Augie “that’s too much information” Steinke