Sing a little song for me

During our child birthing classes last winter, one of our teachers said mothers should never have more than three kids because each kid takes a quarter of a mom’s brain. So far I’d say that’s true for Gretchen, but since Augie’s been born, there’s a good chance I’ve gone a little crazy, too.

I’m not sure if it’s sleep deprivation or something else, but every time a song pops into my head these days I sing it to Augie. But I don’t sing the correct versions, I change the verses to include Augie’s name or something about him being a kid. After writing down what I have come up with so far, it comes out to about a song every other week. There have been others, but here some of the ones that have stuck.

The most popular one, which can be heard in the Steinke apartment daily, is “Diaper on Your Head.” Every time I change Augie, I like to put a diaper on his head. I started putting them there so he wouldn’t flail around and somehow knock the fresh diaper into the poo filled diaper. After hearing the now infamous “Pants on the Ground,” made popular by a crazy American Idol contestant, I changed the song to “Diaper on Your Head.” Like most of my songs, it has one line/verse: Diaper on your head, diaper on your head, lookin' like a fool with a diaper on your head.

Lookin' like a fool

My other songs don’t have as much of a background as “Diaper on Your Head,” but they are becoming classics, too. Probably my second favorite song to sing is “Augietime.” To the tune of MC Hammer’s “Can’t Touch This,” it goes like this: “It’s Augietime, duh nuh nuh nuh (nuh nuh) nuh nuh (nuh nuh) nuh nuh.” I like it because the lyrics are simple (So mom can sing it too!).

The third song you probably know the tune to as well. After smelling a Mexican-food induced deuce, I adapted Phoebe’s popular song “Smelly Cat” to “Augietown.” Augietown, Augietown, what are they feeding you? On a side note, Augie also has a lot of nicknames. To name a few: Augietown, Augietime, Augieville, Augierita, Augs, Auginator, Augasaurus and the Pooinator.

Augie with pooh on his socks

Back to songs. This one is more of a jingle really. After seeing a Green Giant commercial with a full Augie sitting on my lap, I converted the famous jingle (Ho, ho, ho Green Giant) to describe Augie: Ho, ho, ho, full belly. Another side note. I sing this song in my best deep voice, but most of his songs are sung in funny, high-pitched voices because it makes him laugh.

Next, is a play off the often heard cheerleader chant “Alligator.” Instead of Alligator, alligator, eat ‘em up, eat ‘em up, it’s Auginator, Auginator, eat ‘em up, eat ‘em up. I don’t remember how this one came to be.

Eat ‘em up! Eat ‘em up!

Two more, then I’m done. For now. Neither one really has a name, but you probably know the tunes, now you can substitute the words for these ones. To the tune of “Tomorrow” from the Annie movie, is “Oh Augie, My Augie.” (OK, so I guess it has a name). It goes like this: “Oh Augie, my Augie, oh Augie, my Augie, you’re only a _____ away.” This song is highly adaptable. You can fill in the blank with a lot of words. I have used “chair” the most often, but I have also used “crib,” “phone” and Gretchen’s favorite “boob.”

The last song is new to the Top 10 chart, and could make a move upward if I have time to give Augie baths more often. It’s called “Augie in the Tub” (OK, this one has a name, too, shut up), and it goes like this: Rubba dub dub, Augie in the tub.” As you can tell, all of my songs need more verses, but that would make them harder to remember.

If you have an idea for a blog post, or want to hear more from mom, let me know. Until then, enjoy this happy family picture from Easter. (Note: Augie may have been too happy to take the picture and poo’d right through his double-layered pants onto mom’s hand.)